Corey Gouker's Machine Inside the Mind

I should explain how that entire McDonald's thing came about... It started off with this link that Jon sent me. Normally it wouldn't be that big of a deal, but with all the recent crap about iTunes and Pepsi, and McDonald's pondering WiFi access, etc etc... It all just got to be a bit much.

While I enjoy the idea of sitting down in a Starbucks with my laptop chatting with Dom and Jon on Messenger about how sexy the G5 case design might be, taking all the time in the world sipping my delicious mocha. I can't stand the idea of McDonald's doing WiFi, especially when doing it with all those kids yelling and screaming, playing with their happy meal twenty minute toys and the throwing of plastic balls in the Ronald McDonald play area is even worse.

Then there is this entire Adult Happy Meal with the stepometer. That's just sad. Hmm I'm McDonald's marketing, “oh we're sorry we got you super fat with our Big Mac's, how about a bacon ranch salad instead? we'll throw in this stepometer too... just to remind you to take that extra step to burn off the calories and fat from that Big Mac you'll just have to give in to because the salad wasn't enough”.

So after all that... now get a free music downloads with your meal!? WTH is going on with these nuts!?

Oh and while browsing their site... yet another example. I-Am-Asian.com. Now I'm not Asian, which you can mostly likely gather from my webcam, but is this not offensive? I'm not even Asian yet I find this to be somewhat offensive, and no, I'm really not the type to be easily offended or sickened. But geez, could it get any worse, “sipping green tea or enjoying a Big Mac sandwich, we're helping make the magic mix called America become even richer”. If that Big Mac didn't make me puke, their marketing sure will. What in the world is with the AIMesque teeny messages in the background? Subliminal messages to go to McDonald's?

Is it just me or does it seem like a lot of marketing departments are as in touch with their targeted demographic about as much as Bush is with the American and global population?

The year is 2004, the great empire of iTunes and Napster are delivery more and more <finger-quotes>legal</finger-quotes> music, the house of Starbucks has had a lasting trade agreement with T-Mobile to delivery weapons through the air for quite some time now. But the evil Borg still rule the Delta quadrant. The last hope for the Alpha quadrant is the Federation of McDonald's, they alone hold the key to resisting and destroying that which previously seemed impossible. Giving people hope and dreams that their prior attempts weren't totally futile. By slowly and infectiously planting a command in the Borg collective they believe they can overcome that which was unstoppable. By reducing the Borg to their primal needs, the need to feed! And with the knowledge that the Borg's vast supply of caffeine in the form of Mt. Dew, Coke, Vanilla Coke, and for the weak of heart assorted flavors of fruit juice, is dwindling and could soon meet its end. The Federation of McDonald's has taken the offensive. Witness the evidence for yourself! Love it!